“My Last Note”

I remember about 13 Years ago that I wrote a note to God and placed it inside of a offering box at a church. The note said God, you have given me all of these talents (I listed them) and I don’t know what to do with them, please help me, I want to do more….I then placed it in the box and prayed that I would be noticed but wasn’t…so I left that church, thinking that God may have not heard me and got involved with another ministry that did allow for my gifts to be expressed but as my anointing grew, insecurities from others began to show…I was either worked to the bone or I was told to not step out of the box…and If I did, my spiritual fingers got smashed and I held back…even to the point of just settling because I got tired of being called arrogant…too confident or “I’m doing too much” or to focus on “one thing”. (Those of you who have been blessed with many talents know that is virtually impossible.)

So as time passed I regressed and tried to function within another mans insecurity. I was hopeful yet miserable, promises of opportunity were made during the bad times but were broken in good times, I was used but not released…it was frustrating…and I got so twisted that when I was told by a loved one to leave I fought them and stayed an additional three years in an abusive ministry situation because I thought I was being faithful but it really was my own disobedience. So I thought back to that note I wrote and proceeded to “step on water” and move into my calling regardless of what repercussions I was to feel… Yes, I was scared of all the “what if’s”, but God said, I gave you all of those things to help others and If you don’t move those gifts would be buried forever and those that need them wont be released either! (Talk about a rough talk with God)

To be transparent, for the first 5 months of this ministry no people came…but God also knew that I held a lot of resentment in my heart because I felt like a lot of years in that situation were wasted. I was angry at the fact that outside of my immediate family, we had no help or recognition from many of the people I labored with…but as time went by I realized that those years were not a waste! I learned to forgive and embrace the fact that it was GOD responding to my note…He was grooming for me for His service while detoxing me of the poison I absorbed so I would not “turn into what I went through”…So if you are reading this message your time will come…Remember, God has a plan and the most valuable things are created under the pressure of darkness. Just keep pushing, keep loving and keep serving…now on that “note” be Blessed!

— Pastor Andre Martin