In recent days there has been a national focus on the suicides of prominent pastors…depression, anxiety, and the feeling of being overwhelmed can mount up like a rip current which looks calm on the surface but can pull you under and out so far until not even the strongest can save you. I used to wonder why certain preachers said “I almost lost my… mind”…especially when you are doing right by God, faithful, no scandals, no compromise…but still falling into the hills and valleys of warring in the spirit while being attached to this nuisance called the flesh…But as time went on the Wilderness experience of suffering for His namesake became alive and met me at my front door…I remember having my first anxiety attack earlier this year and going into such a dark place (I would get upset even when battles were won) that all I could do was be still…the silence was deafening and I knew the enemy was trying to push me to the pinnacle of quitting while in the wilderness or the period between WHAT GOD PROMISED AND THE MANIFESTATION OF IT .

I am reminded that there are many “mirages” and delusions that are in the wilderness…and like Jesus the Spirit of God pushes you there for a purpose…to be tested, trained his way, the ancient way of the prophets and teachers of old….its not easy and as a preacher you can forget your own words that you speak into others at such a dark time…so one way I got through that storm was intimate worship (I turned on classical music and sung to God :0) counsel and prayer from my Spiritual father Bishop Vaughn McLaughlin…(who pushed me right back into the ring) and as a result, I realized silence or this insane idea of SAVING FACE was no longer an option…its a dangerous place to withdraw into the inner recesses of the mind…and I felt my head was about to pop in the lords gym and the enemy always likes to come into the gym and capitalize on distractions…nevertheless the Lord said drop down and give me one more (praise) and lock out (distractions) for this path takes strength, endurance and focus on what matters most…HIM and his people….

It was said that Orlando was the city of lakes…and that the spiritual climate is one of isolation and not irrigation…lakes that sit too long become retention ponds full of life and poison…but thank God for prayers, covenant connections, and the spiritual discernment to connect and even ignore people both great and small who rather like a photo of a sanctuary or large service but never speak life or encouragement without a fee/ulterior agenda. (selah)…there is safety in the multitude of counsel….I am fortunate to have that both here and abroad…So be encouraged if your reading this…you cant quit or else how would anyone know what God has called you to? Worship God and make sure you don’t become ambitious or have pulpit or stage envy, Honor your Spiritual Parents and NEVER compare yourself to another mans vision/lake when God said connect to the living water (Jesus) or spring that always flows…this is my transparent moment…this may be perceived as weakness but like Paul I celebrate it…because when I’m weak HE is strong! #faithworks #thelordsgym #finish #strongerbetterwiser #thedevilisaliar #depression #covering